I have always proudly identified as a Christian and believed myself to be doing alright as a person. A nice, amicable, sensible person.
This pandemic has proven me wrong on so many levels. I haven’t stopped working since the lockdown was imposed in the UK and it has both been a blessing and a nightmare rolled into one.
The first month of the lockdown was manageable. We had minimal contact with customers, and after the first two weeks working together, we all felt safe in each other’s presence. After the first month, however, we opened the door to a restricted amount of customers and that quickly went downhill.
I’m not the type of person that freaks out over anything really, and so far I thought I had been coping fairly well with the current global climate. I was sorely mistaken.
It has been a peculiar experience, to say the least. My character and my attitude have gone from grateful and calm to frustrated and angry. I never really ever thought I hated people before or that I would actually ever want to punch someone on the nose. Now, having to deal with ignorant and entitled people that don’t seem to understand that we are still on lockdown – that this virus hasn’t been overcome, that just because we’re working doesn’t mean that we’re either infallible or expendable and we still have families to go home to that we worry about every second we have to deal with one more person that doesn’t understand personal boundaries.
Miscommunications, complacency, exhaution and sheer bad manners have left me feeling defeated, hateful, undervalued and consumed with dark bitter thoughts. Going through the motions day in and day out for the last month and having the sentiments running through my head of what each day means to us as individuals and a nation, brought me to a sudden realisation, which, to be honest, caught me by surprise.
Whilst the mantra in my head has been: I’m only human, how can these people be so selfish? They’re not out shopping for essentials, they’re out shopping because they’re bored. A small little voice finally broke through and replied: they are only human too.
So what’s the reminder that ground me to a halt? As a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, I cannot love God if I hate people.
I don’t like the notion of disappointing God in the slightest. He is my Father and His approval is key to my sense of self. Being so consumed within my own head and letting this external issues get the best of me has blinded me to the one truth that is ultimately all that matters to me. He is God, He is in control. He loves me and He is for me.
This pandemic is affecting everyone differently. Some people have to stay home, others choose to stay home. Most people that have to work are mostly frightened for their lives and for those of their families. We’re all missing family and friends that we can’t see for now and some won’t be able to see their family and friends again because their lives have been claimed by this virus one way or another.
Whether you call yourself a Christian or not, one other truth stands against this global crisis. We all need to be a little patient with each other and help each other in any way that we can.
God bless you and stay safe.
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